"I can resist everything except temptation."
Oscar Wilde

"Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living."
Jean Kerr

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
Homer Simpson

"Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman... or a bad woman."
George Burns

"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."
Henny Youngman

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
Humphrey Bogart

"Ok, class, today we'll be sitting quietly with the lights off, because teacher has a hangover."
Edna Krabappel

"One can drink too much, but one never drinks enough."
Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

"There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation."
John Ciandi

"I drink to make other people interesting."
George Jean Nathan

"If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult."
PJ O'Rourke

"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
Martin Mull

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Ernest Hemingway

"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink."
Joe E Lewis

"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
Winston Churchill

"Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold."
Jerry Vale

"Wine is bottled poetry."
Robert Louis Stevenson

"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
Dean Martin

"A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her."
W C Fields

"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."
N F Simpson

"He knows just how I like my martini - full of alcohol."
Homer Simpson

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde

"One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough."
James Thurber

"Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down."
Phyllis Diller

"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
Jim Davis

"One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating."
Luciano Pavarotti

"The belly rules the mind."
Spanish Proverb

"My favorite animal is steak."
Fran Lebowitz

"All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast."
John Gunther

"In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait."
José Simons

"A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat."
Old New York Proverb

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
Fran Lebowitz

"I take a vitamin every day. It's called a steak."
Buck Weston

"Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy."
Unknown

"There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will."
Robert Frost

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food."
George Bernard Shaw

"We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink."
Epicurus

"Food responds to our soul's dream as to our stomach's appetite."
Joseph Delteil

"Food is not about impressing people. It's about making them feel comfortable."
Ina Garten

"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
Ernestine Ulmer

"I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert."
Jason Love

"I prefer to regard a dessert as I would imagine the perfect woman: subtle, a little bittersweet, not blowsy and extrovert. Delicately made up, not highly rouged. Holding back, not exposing everything and, of course, with a flavour that lasts."
Graham Kerr

"Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone."
Jim Fiebig

"Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake."
Unknown

"I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on."
Jean Kerr

"My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat."
Henny Youngman

"Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with."
Drew Sirtors

"I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee."
Flash Rosenberg

"Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever."
David Letterman

"Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister."
Bob Irwin

"Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven."
Jessi Lane Adams

"I never drink coffee at lunch.  I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon."
Ronald Reagan

"I don't have a problem with caffeine.  I have a problem without caffeine!"
Unknown

"I like my coffee like my women:  hot, strong and steamy."
Unknown

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:  alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat."
Alex Levine

"For the chicken the egg demands involvement, but for the pig bacon demands total commitment."
John Price

"Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying."
Fran Lebowitz

"I hate people who are not serious about their meals."
Oscar Wilde

"Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart."
Erma Bombeck

"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."
Virgina Woolf

"The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of mankind than the discovery of a star."
Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

"Fish, to taste right, must swim three times - in water, in butter and in wine."
Polish Proverb

"Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody."
Samuel Pepys

"The art of dining is no slight art,the pleasure not a slight pleasure."
Michel de Montaingne

WE NOT HERE FOR A LONG TIME... WE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME...
CHRISTOPHER DE ACHADINHA